The one thing that changed me

Recently, I was asked ‘What was the one thing that changed me while I was in the class with my mentor?’  As I have reflected on this, I figured this is a good question that should be answered on my blog.  I probably don’t have any followers now, as it has been a long time since I have made a post, but I feel a need to get this honest question answered honestly, and out there for others.

There were many things that I learned from my class.  However, I think it is a collection of all things that I learned, with the encouragement of my mentor that changed me.  I could attempt to say the one thing I think changed me now, but without some information first, you cannot fully appreciate, or understand my answer.

First, 5+4=9.  6+3=9.  3x3=9. 12-3=9, and 27/3=9.  There is no way I can list all the different math combinations to come up with 9, and that doesn’t even begin to cover algebraic equations to come up with 9.  So which one is correct?  And does that mean all the others are wrong?  For whatever reason, I came to believe that even though I may have the correct answer, if I didn’t get it the way someone else did, I was wrong.  Or stupid, or dumb, or whatever.  ‘You can’t do it that way, or you will come up with the wrong answer sometime down the road’ I have been told.  I thought I had found a way to solve the problem, as I came up with the correct answer, but in essence was told I was wrong, and didn’t know how to solve the problem.  Very confusing, especially for a young child.

Second, I was told I had a gift.  Never in my lifetime would I consider dyslexia a gift.  However, as I have learned more about dyslexia, the more I realized that I do have something that others do not have.  I don’t know how many times a solution was agreed upon when working in a group to solve a problem, but I knew there was something they had not considered, or knew it would not work at all.  The first few times as I voiced my concerns, I was unable to explain clearly to them what they have not considered, or why it would not work, and I was ignored.  It doesn’t take long before one will not say anything after being made fun of.  Sure enough, when they got to that point, they had more challenges.  By that time, I had time to think of some possible solutions. This is not to say that I never have had any problems on any project I have done.  I don’t know everything, but as I learn from each project, I know how to do that, and won’t run into that problem again.  However, I do have a gift, that when put in charge of an event, I can see the event as it unfolds, and know what needs to be done before hand to have it go that way. It is when I forget to write it down  and share with others, then I may forget to do something, and others may not be aware of what needs to be done before hand.
 

Orientation is so important to me.  Any distraction, and I am lost at trying to get things done.  No distraction, and I get lost in the work I am doing and time flies by.  When I talk of distraction, I mean any of the 5 senses, sight, sound, feel/touch, smell, or taste. A bird flying by a window outside, the smell of a cookies coming out of an oven, a loud sound, or a beat of music, a pat on the back, or a bite of a sweet apple can cause me to lose concentration.  Having raised 7 children, do I need to say I have been distracted a lot?  I found that if I was in a room by myself, with the door closed, I could concentrate on what I needed to do.  Yet I also found out the hard way that my children were thinking I was trying to push them out of my life, or ignore them.  Yet I was willing to talk to them, all they had to do was knock or come in.  However, they never knew that for the longest time.

My mentor said that I could learn to recite the alphabet backwards, and gave me the assignment to do that one night.  I remember thinking to myself ‘What is she trying to do to me?’ Most of us probably have the song going in our mind when we recite it forwards, how can I learn it backwards?  This seemed like it would be a huge assignment, and I would be lucky to have it memorized before the end of the week, when class would be over.  As this was a class of one—me, I knew I could not hid behind others, so I knew I had to work on that assignment that night.  What really surprised me was the fact that she knew that I could do it.  And I was surprised even more, at how quickly I learned to do that.  I don’t know exactly how long I was working on it, but if it was more than 30 to 45 minutes, I would be surprised.  I had learned that I am a visual learner, and I started looking at the alphabet differently, and different thoughts, then pictures came to mind.  It has been a long time since I have done this, but went through my mind as I was typing this, and it came back to me quickly.  I forgot the letter ‘g’ the first time.  Not bad for not doing it for at least 6 months.

Now, what does all this have to do with the ‘one thing’ that changed me?  It is the ‘someone’ who knew what I had inside me all the time, but I didn’t know.  But putting it all together is hard, and then to be told, much less think, that you just might after all be a genius is unthinkable.  Here was a person who believed in me, and knew how to help me believe in myself.  Here was that person who kept telling me I am a genius. Here was that person telling me that I could do it—anything that I wanted to do. I wasn’t dumb when I came up with the correct answer differently than the person who was teaching me.  There are many ways to solve problems, but how many can go through the many steps to solve a problem almost instantly, at the start?  Those people have a special gift.

And one of the greatest gift I have received, outside my family, is my mentor, who taught me to believe in myself.  I may need to stand alone at times, but I can do so with confidence now.  I don’t have to follow popular opinions.  I don’t have to follow ‘the thinking of the world’.  I have a sound mind, and God has given me a gift.  It is my mentor who taught me how to use it. 

So, if I have to answer ‘what one thing’ that changed me, I have to say it is my mentor.  It wasn’t easy, and I dreaded going to class one day that week. I challenged so much of what she was teaching me.  When I say challenge, I don’t mean in a defiant way, but ‘I don’t understand, or why, or how, regarding what she was opening up to me. I didn’t understand, or had considered what she was telling me, and needed it explained to me in a different way.  I must, and will, take credit for hanging in when I didn’t want to, to keep following up after that week of classes. But it was the mentor that made the change in me. Is it strange to say that my mentor who challenged me in so many ways, and was ‘very hard’ on me (as I saw it at the time), has become so dear to me, and a close friend?  Thanks Cindy Gardner, for being my mentor.  I only wish there were so many more of you to help all the people in the world who need help.

 

Gift photo courteous of Howard Jackman.  Used with permission