I will say here that when I married, I married up in a huge
way. I believe my wife is a living
Saint, and to put up with me on top of it all, she should be doubled
Sainted. She sees the good in everyone,
and always has a smile on her face. She
laughs often, even at my jokes. She is
caring, and will do all that she can to help her family and those around
her. I can say she has no guile in her
at all!
When we married, we committed to be faithful and loyal to
each other, through thick and thin, through all challenges that would come our
way. We have honored those vows, and can
almost finish the sentence of the other person.
We have become one in so many ways.
I didn’t say it was always easy, but it sure has been worth it. Believe it or not, she tells me she wonders
why I married her, while I am wondering why she married me! I love her with all my heart, and she
me. Trust me, the making of a good
marriage is worth another blog, but that is not what this is about. However, you need to know that I have always
had the support of my wife all this time.
How does one go about telling someone you love of your own
weakness? From our first date to our
wedding day was only six months. While
many would argue you don’t know the other person in that short of time, I will
counter with, a person who doesn’t want you to know something will never tell
you, no matter how long you know that person.
I wanted to get more education when we were first
married. I am sure we could have found a
way to get the funds to do it. What
prevented me was my past history in school.
How could I get the study time in while working, and now raising a
family? Reading was very unbearable back
then. While my wife would encourage me to get more education,
slowly, over time, she understood both my concerns, and limitations, as I was able to tell her. Yet she still loved me, and supported me in
my place in the family. She never
demanded to know anything, but as I was able to build up courage, she listened….and
loved me.
Our goal was to never send our children to day care, but one
of us would be home with the children. I
can say we were successful in this.
However, as you could figure out, this meant that we would be working
odd hours, and I would be working two jobs or more. We were able to take care of our needs most
of the time. We did receive help from
time to time from family, those close to us who knew our situations, and
occasionally, anonymously, especially at Christmas time.
Vacation time each year would be a trip to grandparents
homes for a week. As the children got
older, we ventured out and roughed it camping one year. We never had funds to take our family to any
amusement parks, or to see any historical sites. Funds just were not in the budget for such
things, yet my wife supported me, and never complained.
Through a neighbor, I found a job with a national company,
working in their credit card department.
I started in collections, then moved into other departments in that
company. As the mother company was in
the same building, and their busy time was different than ours, I had a chance
to go over there and work in their customer service department. I proved myself valuable there, and I was
hired on there, shortly before they sold off the credit card division.
I felt proud of myself, working myself up, with the
education I had. I jumped at
opportunities that came to me, and when the company offered to pay for those
who wanted to take the series 7 exam in the financial world, I jumped at it. Little did I know what I was getting into.
They paid for the expenses, I did all the study on my own time.
I got a 3 ring binder that was 3 inches thick to study. Over 500 pages with words on both sides! They gave us an outline to study, and
practice exams to take to help us. From
around February through October of that year, I study at least 2, if not more,
many times 4 or more hours, 6 days a week.
I calculated I had answered over 3,500 practice questions on numerous
exams. I shut the door to the bedroom,
with a note on it ‘do not disturb.
Taking exam’ and my children knew not to come in, as the exams were
timed exams. We went to a cabin that
year for a family vacation, and I stayed in the cabin that week, studying.
The exam was 130 questions, and you had about 3 ½ hours to
take it. Then you had to take a short
break, and then get to take another exam, same number of questions, and
time. You had no idea how you did on the
first one, and if your mind wasn’t fried after the first exam, it was by the
second. I remembered how drained I was,
how numbed I was, and almost not caring what the score was, I just needed this
exam to be over with! I pushed the button, which they say once pressed, you
can’t go back…no changing answers now, and waiting for what seemed to be an
eternity, and finally my score showed up.
I had passed. The first time I
had taken it, I had passed! I can’t explain the feeling I had, nor the weight that
was lifted off my shoulders at that moment! I undertook a huge challenge, and I
passed.
I took the series 63 exam two months later, and passed that
one as well the first time. Again, what
a great feeling I had. Confidence was
coming to me in a way I haven’t had before.
Time passed, and openings came up, and I started using my licenses in other departments of that company. I was now
reviewing a sampling of emails that were sent or received by brokers and their
assistants. I was on the team that was
selected to start this process for the company.
We grew slowly, and started covering more of the nation as we grew, and
I was happy. For the most part.
Did you catch that part what I was doing? READING emails. I was busy the entire day to do my share of
the emails. All day. I started early. I got there before the boss. I worked through my lunch more days than I
can count. Many times, I ate lunch at my
desk. On rare occasions, I would take a
15 min. lunch to get away from my desk.
My only breaks during the day was down the hall to the restroom, and
then back to the grind. I was busy,
reading. Yet others were bored, and
would finish early, and talk a lot. I
didn’t mind that, just keep it down so I would not be disturbed. Yet I got a pay raise with this new position I had, and was
on salary, and had earned 5 weeks of vacation!
I was busy, and stressed, but got paid, and had time off.
Things were going fine for me, but I could tell we were
going to lose people, as they were bored with their jobs. I couldn’t picture
that at all. Then a meeting was called,
and the news caused a pit to come to my stomach. The job we were doing was going to be
outsourced, but not to worry. Another
job was coming in, and we would all still have jobs. However, we needed the series 8, 9 and 65
licenses to do this job. We would have
time to study at work, and they would pay all expenses. We had to sign forms that if we didn’t get
those licenses, we would be let go, with no severance pay, etc. It was not a good day for me.
Over 6 months later, my supervisor had to walk me out of the
building, as I couldn’t pass those exams,
The company was downsizing, and as I had been there almost 15 years, the department I came from did not want to pay my salary for what I would be
doing there. My boss was sad to see me
go, but his hands were tied. I will say
here, that he was a caring boss, and did all he could do to keep me, but that
was not to happen.
All because of my dyslexia.
Next blog: A feel for how one with dyslexia reads
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